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Laid and Confused

Why We Tolerate Bad Sex and How to Stop

Audiobook
2 of 2 copies available
2 of 2 copies available

This program is read by the author.
A refreshingly honest,
deeply researched, and frequently hilarious deep-dive into the cultural crisis of bad sex, as one brave sex columnist recruits the counsel of coaches, psychologists, pro-dommes, and peers in the pursuit of pleasure.
Far more alarming than the millennial "sex recession"—the phenomenon of young people having less sex than previous generations—is that we're in the middle of a bad sex epidemic that all generations are suffering from. Despite major advances in sex education, positivity, and technology, we haven't moved the needle on better. We're still quietly enduring unsatisfying sex, whether that's resigning ourselves to the same three positions we secretly hate, or lying when our Bumble date asks if we're "close" after fifteen seconds of oral. We've been trained to optimize everything, except our own pleasure.
For journalist Maria Yagoda, bad sex was her villain origin story. After going viral for a column calling out bad sex on her college campus, she launched a career as a sex columnist, earning a global following for her wit, vulnerability, and expertise in her popular VICE series, Sex Machina. But even as a professional sex writer, most of the sex she was having landed somewhere between passable and "huh." In search of understanding, she consulted sex therapists, psychologists, dominatrixes and sex toy creators, as well as young people of all genders and sexualities, putting her own sex life on the line—from hiring a sex coach to attending a "masturbation meditation" Zoom seminar—in order to pave a new path forward.
In the vein of Come as You Are for the Trick Mirror audience, Laid and Confused presents a fresh, funny, and compassionate analysis of our current sexual moment, and offers research-based tools that will empower listeners to craft the deeply pleasurable sex lives they deserve.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin's Press.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      January 23, 2023
      In this down-to-earth debut, Food & Wine editor Yagoda explores causes of (and fixes for) bad sex. Though much has been made of the so-called “sex recession” among millennials and Gen Zers, Yagoda doesn’t see the “opt-out” itself as a negative, and focuses instead on the issue of consensual but unpleasurable sex. Yagoda identifies cultural culprits behind the problem, including mental health issues exacerbated by the pandemic; the libido-killing effects of some medications; poor sex education; and the persistence of purity culture. Meanwhile, social media and dating apps normalize unrealistic physical standards, while pornography can “color our expectations of sex.” Yagoda emphasizes rediscovering pleasure via self care, like taking breaks from sex altogether, or thinking about one’s sexual needs (she recommends creating a personal checklist: sample items range from “I will speak up if my leg falls asleep” to “I want to feel emotionally safe with my sexual partners”). Finally, she leans into solo sex as a powerful medium for discovering individual desires and “learning to enjoy being in our bodies.” Throughout, Yagoda relates her own bad sex experiences with a wry humor that entertains without distracting. Though her core ideas—know thyself, communicate—aren’t revolutionary, Yagoda’s message is empowering, and her honesty will quickly win readers’ trust. Those seeking a more fulfilling sex life will find this entry affirming.

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  • OverDrive Listen audiobook

Languages

  • English

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