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I Regret Nothing

A Memoir

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all—sometimes with disastrous results…

Sure Jen has made mistakes. She spent all her money from a high-paying job on shoes, clothes, and spa treatments. She then carried a Prada bag to the unemployment office. She wrote a whole memoir about dieting…but didn’t lose weight. She embarked on a quest for cultural enlightenment that only cemented her love for John Hughes movies and Kraft American Singles. She tried to embrace everything Martha Stewart, while living with a menagerie of rescue cats and dogs. (Glitter…everywhere.)
Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another.
After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is—yikes!—middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day, even if that means having her tattoo removed at one hundred times the cost of putting it on.
From attempting a juice cleanse to studying Italian, from learning to ride a bike to starting a new business, and from sampling pasta in Rome to training for a 5K, Jen is turning a mid-life crisis into a mid-life opportunity, sharing her sometimes bumpy—but always hilarious—attempts to better her life…again.
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    • Kirkus

      April 1, 2015
      How one woman tackled some of the things on her mid-40s bucket list. For fans of Lancaster's (Twisted Sisters, 2014, etc.) particular brand of humor, she's back in full swing with another memoir full of embarrassing moments, comments about her size and weight, and general midlife-crisis events triggered by realizing she has turned 46 and should create a list of things to accomplish before she dies. "As enamored as I am with the idea of listing and then finally scratching some long-standing itches, a part of this idea feels off," she writes. "Essentially, I'm figuring out what I'd like to accomplish before I 'kick the bucket,' which means I'm definitely going to die. Not a fan." From this point of view, Lancaster prepares her list, starting with a new playlist of music since she had been listening to the same bands for 30 years. The author meanders through a variety of escapades: learning to ride an adult tricycle, studying Italian, traveling to Italy, finding a new hobby, confronting her weight issues and compulsive eating habits, etc. She discusses her dogs, her husband, her friends, her dysfunctional body parts, a possible chance to meet and talk face to face with Martha Stewart, the challenge of doing juice cleanses-basically, just about anything that comes to mind she approaches with the same attitude: somewhat funny, quick, and lighthearted, reminiscent of sitcom humor but lacking any real substance or grit. Readers may laugh in the moment, but the punch line doesn't carry over in a retelling. For pure entertainment of the lightest fluff, Lancaster is sure to please her many devoted readers; for those looking for words of wisdom on how a woman can navigate the 40-to-50 decade with dignity, while still having fun, they should search elsewhere for sustenance. Occasionally entertaining yet featherweight capers of an overweight woman trying to be cheery and carefree through her middle-age years.

    • Booklist

      May 15, 2015
      While taking a much-needed weekend trip with her girlfriends, which her husband insists is an adult spring break, best-selling novelist and memoirist Lancaster (Twisted Sisters, 2014) suddenly realizes that she has gone full speed into middle age. Determined to prove that it is never too late to accomplish what you want to do, she creates a life-improving bucket list. Even if the road to these changes is not easy, Lancaster demonstrates that, with a lot of perseverance and plenty of humor, they can be achieved, whatever your age. From purchasing a three-wheeled bike (against her husband's long-standing ban), to eating her way through Italy, to joining a 5K running program, Lancaster chronicles her adventures with banter and quips that highlight her overarching theme of avoiding regrets. As she shares her thoughts on not becoming a mother, a long-overdue health exam, and weight issues, she makes her experiences relatable to all in a humorous and inspiring approach to navigating middle age.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)

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