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It's Not You

27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
“Why am I still single?”
If you’re single and searching, there’s no end to other people’s explanations, excuses, and criticism explaining why you haven’t found a partner:
“You’re too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you’ll be fine.”
“You’re too desperate. If men think you need them, they’ll run scared.”
“You’re too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates.”
“You have low self-esteem. You can’t love someone else until you’ve learned to love yourself.”
“You’re too needy. You can’t be happy in a relationship until you’ve learned to be happy on your own.”
Based on one of the most popular Modern Love columns of the last decade, Sara Eckel’s It’s Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there’s no one reason why you’re single—you just are.
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    • Publisher's Weekly

      November 11, 2013
      In this comforting love letter to single women, journalist Eckel tackles 27 common criticisms trotted out to unmarried ladies of a certain age—and sets each of those chestnuts on its ear. Advocating for the women who want to marry but haven’t yet found their match, the author picks apart clichéd observations such as “you’re too picky,” “you should have married that guy,” “you have low self-esteem,” and “you’re too desperate,” offering sensible responses for when these questions inevitably come up. Eckel sagely points out that “when you stop picking apart your personality and endlessly replaying the game tapes of your previous relationships, you clear a lot of mental space,” and she rationally discusses why each of these “truisms” are utterly wrong, funneling many through a Buddhist viewpoint while sharing her adventures with meditation and her own stories about dates gone wrong. Eckel also encourages women to examine what’s right with their lives, rather than what’s wrong—something very difficult to do when society is passing judgment, she acknowledges, but a necessary step nonetheless. A must for any single woman’s personal library, this book will lend hope to the millions of unattached women who want to believe love is on the horizon.

    • Library Journal

      April 1, 2014

      Based on an essay in her New York Times "Modern Love" column, Eckel puts forth a strong case for celebrating the right to be single without guilt or shame, claiming that the many accusations of women being "too picky," "too independent," or too anything to find a man are myths that don't fly when held up to psychological and sociological scrutiny. The author relates a number of stories of women who married after 35 (or remained single), and how much they grew as individuals while they were unattached. VERDICT This upbeat, affirming read will alter the mind-set of those waiting to find a partner so that "real life" can begin.

      Copyright 2014 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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  • English

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